


The Private Life of a Hogwarts Professor

by invisible_aliens



Series: Carry On Countdown 2018 [6]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Established Relationship, Kidnapping, M/M, POV Outsider, they're all teachers at hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:18:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/invisible_aliens/pseuds/invisible_aliens
Summary: The students of Hogwarts are convinced Professors Snow and Pitch hate each other.But maybe they're wrongWritten for the Carry On Countdown 2018, Day 6: Hogwarts AU





	The Private Life of a Hogwarts Professor

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit, it's being a while since I read Harry Potter.

Alice Sanders could hear angry voices from around the corner. She paused behind a statue to listen. 

“You've given your students so much work, none of them have had any time to do the work I set them!” It was Professor Snow, the herbology teacher. 

“Maybe they're trying to get out of doing your work because it's so boring! My students always complete their homework.” It was Professor Pitch, the charms teacher. 

Alice was surprised to hear them arguing out in the open. It was no secret that they seemed to argue a lot, but they usually kept it civil around the students, to the point it sometimes seemed like they could almost be friends. Although she’d always thought that since they didn’t get along, they’d be much better off just avoiding each other, not spending all their time together arguing. They must have assumed there would be no one in the corridors since it was class time. 

“Boring? The students love my classes! Whereas you are always lodging reports of students truanting!” 

Their voices were getting more distant. Alice relaxed. She had been given permission to leave class to go to the toilet, but she still felt guilty for overhearing them.

“Would you even notice if a student ditched your class? Or are you just too nice to say anything when they do?” She could hear Professor Pitch saying. 

“Annoying, isn't it?” said a voice from behind her. She jumped around in shock. “Their constant bickering.”

It was the headmistress, Professor Bunce. “They've been doing it since we were all students. I wouldn't worry about it, though. They… Get along more than you might think.”

“I just though they mightn't want anyone to overhear.”

“And yet you listened in anyway?” Bunce raised her eyebrow with a grin. 

“Well…”

“No matter. You best be in your way.” 

She walked around the corner, and when Alice followed her, she was gone. 

Later, in the evening, Alice told her friend Vicki what she'd heard as they sat in the Ravenclaw dorms. 

“I heard them arguing yesterday, as well!” said Vicki. 

“Pitch told Snow he looked ridiculous carrying that sword around all the time, and Snow said that it was his way of preparing for an attack, if there ever was one, and said Pitch knew how good he was with it. Although then Pitch said something about how Snow was the best swordsman he knew, and he thought him carrying it around was cute? Which is a bit weird, but anyway, I’ve got something more exciting to show you.” 

She pulled something out of the pocket of her robes as they sat down on Vicki's bed. It was the latest Daily Prophet. 

“Did you see this? Travis Leigh was spotted in Hogsmeade yesterday!”

“Why would he be in Hogsmeade?” Alice was sceptical. The wizard Travis Leigh was a criminal, a major thief and occasional murderer, but he tended to stick to populated areas. 

“He must be up to something! Maybe he's coming to Hogwarts. We might see him!” 

Vicki sounded worryingly excited at the prospect. 

“He'd never get in. The security's too good.”

Vicki nodded. “I thought that too. That's why I'm sneaking out tonight to go to Hogsmeade. To see if I can find him!”

“What if you get caught?” hissed Alice, looking around in case someone overhead. 

“Since when do I get caught?” she stood up and did a little pose, a smirk in her face. 

Alice sighed. Since Travis Leigh wasn't really going to be in Hogsmeade, the worst that could happen was she'd get detention. 

“Fine, I won't tell anyone. But I'm not coming. Professor Wellbelove is giving us a test tomorrow, and I want to be well rested.”

Vicki pouted slightly, but she knew Alice well enough to know she wasn't coming. She pulled her hood up and left the room. 

In the morning, Vicki still wasn't back. Alice checked everywhere, but she was nowhere to be found. Professor Snow found her wandering through the corridors. 

“You look worried, Sanders,” he said, “is everything alright?” 

“It's Vicki!” she said. “I can't find her anywhere. She's gone missing.”

Snow put his hand on the hilt of his sword. 

“Let's go talk to Professor Bunce. You can explain on the way.” 

Somehow, Alice ended up sitting in Professor Bunce's office with Professors Bunce, Snow and Pitch all around. Professor Bunch had summoned Professor Pitch as soon as she'd heard Alice's story. 

“Neither of you have a class at the moment. I must wait hear and keep the students safe, as well as inform the Minister. If it really is Leigh, we need Aurors here as soon as possible. You two must go and find her.”

Alice wasn't sure Snow and Pitch were the best teachers to team up together, but neither of them looked worried about it. In fact, they a looked almost pleased. Somehow that made her more worried. 

Alice felt a twinge in her stomach. She'd been confident the teachers could work it out, but what if they were too busy fighting with each other?”

“I want to go with them. I know Vicki better. I'll know where she might have gone.”

Bunce looked thoughtful. 

“Alright,” she said reluctantly, “but at the first sign of trouble, I want you out of the way.”

It was weird, being alone with Snow and Pitch. 

“Which passage did she use to sneak out?” asked Snow. 

“I…” Alice hesitated. 

“We were students here ourselves, you know,” said Pitch. “We've done our fair share of sneaking out, to get drunk, take part in clandestine snogging sessions…” he gave Snow a pointed look, who blushed and looked away. 

“Like you didn't do that as well!” he mumbled.

Pitch laughed. “And of course, you would know. Never said I didn't, though, did I?”

He looked back at Alice. 

“Apologies for the turn in conversation. Now, which one was it? Don't worry, you're not going to get into trouble.” 

As they walked through the secret passage to Hogsmeade, Alice listened to Snow and Pitch talking, who walked ahead of her.

“I haven't been down here since that time I followed you and Agatha,” said Snow, almost whistfully.

“You mean you were following Agatha, who was following me.”

“Well… yes, but I didn't know that at the time. I thought you were plotting.”

“I thought you thought I was stealing Agatha!” 

“Well… Both, I guess.”

Alice felt like they'd forgotten she was there. It was entertaining, in any case. She was pretty sure Agatha was Professor Wellbelove. She hadn't known Snow and Wellbelove had dated. 

“Well, I wasn't doing either.” 

“I'm well aware. But you always glowered at us when we were together, what was I meant to think?” 

They reached the end of the tunnel, which put an end to their bantering. 

They asked at the Three Broomsticks if they'd seen Vicki, and someone said they'd seen two suspicious figures heading towards the Forbidden Forest. From the description, it sounded like Travis Leigh had kidnapped Vicki, and dragged her off into the Forest. 

Professor Pitch frowned when he heard. 

“Sanders, I don't want you coming into the Forest. Wait here.”

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked. 

He snorted. “I'll have Snow to help me out.” 

Alice looked doubtfully at Snow. She liked Snow, and he was a good teacher, but he didn't seem like someone you'd wish for in a battle. 

“Don't worry,” said Pitch, “it won't be the first time we've had to back each other up.”

It occurred to her it there was a lot she didn't know about her teachers. 

It was a terrible wait. The people at the Three Broomsticks gave her plenty to eat and drink, but she couldn't stomach much of it. 

It was three hours later when they finally returned, Pitch clutching his injured arm and Snow guiding a restrained Travis Leigh. 

And Vicki, walking after them. She ran out of the pub to embrace her in a hug. 

“You're okay! I should have come with you. I'm sorry.”

“Its okay,” said Vicki, “I even got to see Travis Leigh! Although, that wasn't as exciting as watching Pitch and Snow. He really can use that sword! And Pitch is an amazing dueler.”

“They managed to work together, then?” Alice asked. 

Vicki nodded. “It was weird, how in sync they seemed. I'm not sure they hate each other as much as we all thought.”

A week later, Alice was walking down a corridor when she heard voices around the corner. It was Professors Snow and Pitch! 

Curiously, she hid behind some armour and peeked around the corner. 

Pitch was sitting against the wall, and Snow was sitting beside him, leaning against him. 

“I think we should tell the students outright,” said Professor Snow. “It would be good to show support for the gay kids at the school, especially since they’ve been bullied lately. I thought they'd just work it out, but they're all completely oblivious!” 

“Maybe we've been too subtle,” said Pitch. 

“Subtle? What else can we do? Start snogging in the corridors?”

Pitch snorted. “That what be highly inappropriate. And against school rules.” He stood up. “Alright, I've got a class to go and teach, and I think you do too. But I'll talk to Penny, and we can make an announcement tonight, yeah?” 

Snow got up and gave him a brief kiss. “Sounds good. I'll see you later. Love you!” He gave a brief wave as he walked away. 

“Love you too!” said Professor Pitch. 

Alice ducked behind the armour so he didn't see her. 

This really hadn't been what she was expecting at all.


End file.
